How to Keep the Spirit of Jezebel out of Your MARRIAGE for Good

The spirit of Jezebel represents manipulation, control, deceit, and division—all of which can destroy a marriage from the inside out. Named after Queen Jezebel from the Old Testament, this spirit works in subtle ways, creating discord, division, and spiritual decay. However, by recognizing its influence and relying on God’s guidance, you can guard your marriage against this destructive spirit and maintain a foundation of love, respect, and unity. Here’s how to keep the spirit of Jezebel out of your marriage for good.

1. Recognize the Signs of a Jezebel Spirit in Your Marriage

The spirit of Jezebel often works covertly, influencing a marriage in ways that might not be obvious at first. Here are some key indicators:

• Manipulation and Control: When one or both partners use manipulation to gain control or influence the other’s actions or emotions, it can create a power imbalance. This may involve guilt-tripping, withholding affection, or twisting situations to achieve personal desires.

• Pride and Self-Centeredness: The Jezebel spirit thrives in pride and selfishness, leading individuals to prioritize their own needs and opinions over those of their spouse. This attitude can lead to stubbornness, resentment, and disregard for the other person’s needs.

• Division and Discord: If constant conflict, blame-shifting, and tension seem to take over your marriage, it could be an indication of spiritual interference. The Jezebel spirit seeks to create division by eroding trust, peace, and unity.

• Isolation and Separation: This spirit works to isolate couples from supportive friends, family, and even their faith community, making it easier to control and influence them.

Recognizing these signs can help you take steps to resist and overcome the Jezebel spirit’s influence.

2. Commit to Honest and Transparent Communication

Jezebel’s influence thrives in secrecy, dishonesty, and withholding. By prioritizing open and honest communication, you can create a protective shield around your marriage.

• Be Vulnerable and Transparent: Share your feelings openly and honestly, without fear of judgment. Create a safe space for each other to express concerns, fears, and needs.

• Avoid Manipulation Tactics: Refuse to manipulate each other with guilt, silence, or emotional games. When you communicate, strive to express yourself respectfully and clearly.

• Hold Each Other Accountable: If either of you feels the conversation becoming unhealthy, agree to hold each other accountable in a loving and constructive way. Being aware of each other’s concerns helps prevent unhealthy patterns from taking root.

3. Cultivate Humility and Servanthood

The spirit of Jezebel is rooted in pride and self-centeredness, making humility a powerful antidote. Practicing humility and servanthood helps you resist the temptation to control or manipulate.

• Prioritize Each Other’s Needs: Put your spouse’s needs above your own, seeking to serve rather than to control. Jesus modeled a servant’s heart, and when we serve our spouses in love, we protect our marriage from prideful attitudes.

• Cultivate a Heart of Gratitude: Regularly express appreciation for your spouse and the blessings in your marriage. Gratitude shifts the focus away from self and fosters a spirit of unity.

• Be Willing to Admit Mistakes: When conflicts arise, take responsibility for your role. Avoid shifting blame, and be willing to apologize. Acknowledging mistakes and seeking forgiveness keeps pride from taking root.

4. Pray Together for Discernment and Protection

Prayer is your greatest weapon against spiritual influences. By praying together, you invite God to guard and guide your marriage.

• Pray for Discernment: Ask God to give you both the wisdom and insight to recognize any spiritual influences that seek to harm your relationship. Discernment helps you spot and resist subtle forms of manipulation and pride.

• Pray for Humility and Unity: Ask God to keep both of you grounded in humility, love, and unity. Pray for a spirit of cooperation and teamwork as you navigate life’s challenges together.

• Break the Jezebel Spirit’s Influence: Pray specifically against the spirit of Jezebel, rebuking any attempts it makes to control, divide, or manipulate your relationship. Speak God’s truth over your marriage, declaring that it belongs to Him and that no weapon formed against it shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).

5. Set and Respect Boundaries

The Jezebel spirit often crosses boundaries to gain control and manipulate situations. Healthy boundaries are essential for a thriving marriage and help prevent outside influences from causing discord.

• Establish Clear Boundaries: Set boundaries regarding finances, family involvement, work-life balance, and other areas. Boundaries give both partners security, knowing that they are respected and protected.

• Respect Emotional and Spiritual Boundaries: Honor each other’s emotional space and spiritual journey. This might mean giving your spouse space to pray alone, journal, or seek counsel.

• Stand Firm in Boundaries with Others: Sometimes, a Jezebel spirit can operate through well-meaning but over-involved friends or family members. Protect your marriage by gently but firmly maintaining boundaries with others, ensuring your decisions are made as a team.

6. Invite God’s Word Into Your Marriage

Jezebel’s influence feeds on lies and deception. By filling your marriage with God’s Word, you replace lies with truth, fortifying your relationship against attacks.

• Study Scripture Together: Make time to read the Bible together, focusing on passages that emphasize love, unity, and humility. Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 13, Philippians 2:3-4, and Ephesians 4:2-3 offer guidance for a Christ-centered marriage.

• Speak Scripture Over Your Marriage: Speak God’s promises aloud, declaring His protection and favor over your relationship. Remind yourselves of the unity God has ordained and affirm His plans for your life together.

• Renew Your Minds Daily: Meditate on verses that guard your mind against pride and selfishness, like James 4:10 and Proverbs 3:5-6. As you both align your thoughts with God’s truth, you create a spiritual defense against negative influences.

7. Seek Wise Counsel and Support

Sometimes, outside support can offer insight and accountability. Trusted mentors, pastors, or Christian counselors can provide guidance and encouragement to keep your marriage strong.

• Reach Out to Mentors: Surround yourselves with godly mentors who have strong marriages and can offer advice when you face challenges. Their experience and wisdom can be invaluable.

• Consider Marriage Counseling: Christian counseling can be helpful in addressing and overcoming unhealthy dynamics influenced by the Jezebel spirit.

• Connect with a Faith Community: Being part of a church or small group can provide accountability, encouragement, and prayer support, helping your marriage stay strong in the face of challenges.

Final Thoughts: Keeping the Jezebel Spirit Out of Your Marriage

The Jezebel spirit has no place in a marriage built on Christ. By being proactive and intentional in your approach, you can protect your relationship from manipulation, pride, and division. With God as your foundation, a heart of humility, and a commitment to transparency, you can keep the Jezebel spirit out of your marriage for good.

God’s design for marriage is one of love, unity, and mutual respect. By standing together in faith, praying with purpose, and following the example of Christ, you and your spouse can guard your relationship against spiritual influences and enjoy a marriage that brings glory to God. Remember, with God’s strength, you have all you need to build a lasting, thriving marriage.